Raise your children like you raise your garden

by Michael Smith (Veshengro)

A gardener does not grow flowers; he gives them what he thinks they need and they grow by themselves. ~ John Holt

You can, obviously, substitute plants for the word flowers, and this also applies to the raising of children. That is to say that all that is required is nurture and not violence.

When a child hits a sibling for whatever reason does it make sense to punish the offender by giving him or her a beating? It does not. For all that you do is show the child that violence is supposed to bring forth a positive result and that is what the child learns from that. So, when he or she wants something – for him or her a positive result – he or she will employ violence to get it.

The way you talk to your children becomes their inner voice. ~ Peggy O'Mara

This is too goes with the raising of children like raising a garden. You cannot shout at your plants to get a result nor hit them with a stick or whatever to make them grow better. The same is true in most cases as regards to children.

It is no good shouting at the child “do as I tell you” when you do not set the example. Telling a child not to smoke, for instance, while you consume x-amount of cigarettes per day hardly will get any result at all. And the same goes for alcohol.

Don't tell your reluctant child to go out and play outdoors. Go with him and enjoy the outdoors together. You both may learn something and actually enjoy your time together.

The proverb says “What goes around, comes around”, the the German proverb “Wie man in den Wald hinein ruft, schallt es herraus” covers this much better. The direct translation would be “the way you shout into the forests the echo repeats it”, and children are our echo. We must remember that each and every day when dealing with children, our own or others.

© 2013