All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all
But what we never mention, though gardeners know it's true
Is when He made the goodies, He made the baddies too!
All things spray- and swattable, disasters great and small
All things paraquatable, the Lord God made them all
The greenfly on the roses, the maggots on our peas
Manure that fills our noses, He also gave us these
(Chorus) All things spray- and swattable,...
The fungus on the goosegogs, the club root on the greens
The slugs that eat the lettuce, and chew our aubergines
(Chorus) All things spray- and swattable,...
The drought that kills the fuchsias, the frost that nips the buds
The rain that drowns the seedlings, the blight that hits the spuds
(Chorus) All things spray- and swattable,...
The midges and mosquitoes, the nettles and the weeds
The pigeons in the green stuff, the sparrows on the seeds
(Chorus) All things spray- and swattable,...
The fly that gets the carrots, the wasp that eats the plums
How black the gardener's outlook, though green may be his thumbs!
(Chorus) All things spray- and swattable,...
But still we gardeners labor, midst vegetables and flowers
And pray what hits our neighbors, will somehow bypass ours!
All things spray- and swattable, disasters great and small
All things paraquatable, the Lord God made them all
